This week I started grad school again. I can't believe it's my second semester! I worry that having too many irons in the fire will have an negative impact on my three little girls. However, I know that furthering my education will show my daughters how to be strong when the going gets tough. There is no free lunch in life.
I work as a full-time teacher and I am at school until 11Pm on Mondays, but I still manage to keep it together. How, I'm not sure, but my family drives me to be the best I can be. In this economy, there is no room for indecision. I knew that I had to return to school to keep my job and to possibly get a better job in the future, so why do I feel so guilty? My two year old tells my goodbye in the morning like she is happy to see me go. This bothers me. My four year old is happy to go to an all day pre-K, this bothers me too. My six year old hates it when I am not home when she comes home from school. This really bothers me.
One year ago I was working part-time, but now times are tough and reality has stuck home. I need to work full time. What will be my legacy for my family? I hope that they see me as a mother that took responsibility and did what needed to be done for my family. I am investing in their future. I may not be a model mother, but I am a hard working mother who is not afraid to look challenge in the face and do something to better my family. I am sure to spend QUALITY time with my children even if I am dead tired. Thank goodness for an equally hardworking and understanding husband . When we are all together we THRIVE, and that is what counts.
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I'm almost in tears while reading this. I know how you feel. I am also guilty leaving my daughter to the maid that's why I asked my mother's sister to look after her when I went to work when she's 4 months. But when at work, I always think about her and everytime I get hold of a phone, I always call her dad to ask if she's okay.
ReplyDeleteI'm very happy now that we're together everyday. I get to see every step, every little development. There are sacrifices I have to make. I used to be an outgoing person, but now I can only go out if we need to buy diapers, etc.
It's ok to miss all those "gigs" I used to have. It will really kill me to miss something about my daughter's life.
I have read from someone's blog ( a mommy blog) that the pre-school where her daughter's enrolled to has a real time video so even if she's at work, she sees what her daughter is doing.
^^